At A Loss For Words

The past 3 days I have wanted to post, but I can't seem to find the words.....What can I say? I'm heartbroken for this family who lost their sweet baby. I know they will miss her greatly and I can't imagine what they are going through right now. I have been wondering myself... I haven't been to a memorial service since I was 18 years old...that was 15 years ago and now I've been to 2 in less than a month (one of our home nurses passed away in March) and I can't help but wonder what I'm supposed to learn from all of this? I'm asking God to help me understand. So many questions I'm asking myself and him.

So with all of this I have found myself being nicer to my nurses (for the most part) hee hee.... I mean, I have incredible nurses, but naturally there are minor frustrations here and there, but I never take any of them for granted. They are a part of my sons life and ours. Each and every one of them who step foot into our home become a part of our family. I am also finding myself not stressing out as much about Isaac's disabilities, but just being thankful that he is here. What more can I ask for? The milestone of him turning 2 was something I never thought he would live to let us tell about. And yes, I admit, I'm even trying to be nicer to my husband and daughter, which is easier said than done sometimes.(: Isaac's life has shown me time and time again how fragile life can be, but I'm realizing that more than ever now.

This week Isaac's 02 levels are great and we are taking him for a day trip out of town next weekend to see Grandpa Billy and the rest of the family....something we have never been brave enough to do, so this is a huge deal! He also got a dr's order yesterday to go into the therapy center soon to get fitted for a stander that we may be able to use in the home. This could help him in many ways, but especially for extending his legs.

Autumn and I walked the March Of Dimes on Saturday morning for a team for Michael McCallister, who was just over a pound when he was born. I had a great time, even though I was feeling sad about Gabby's passing. It felt good to exercise and to also know I was helping to promote awareness for babies so that they can be born healthy. When they announced that there were a few different colored leis you could wear to represent your child, I found myself walking proud with my lei that represented that I had a special needs child. It felt good!